Well I fought for my job…
And I won.
I sort of feel like, “Was that what I really wanted?”
Wow I’m a mess. That was tough.

Having a spinning day where I’m worried the spinning will cause my world to fall apart.

politicalprof:

So FOX doesn’t think 160 airstrikes constitute military action against ISIS. Just FYI.

ht: AM

haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.
haanigram:



Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them


FUCKING. ROLE. MODEL.

I thought it was a brilliant idea to stick my hard boiled eggs in the freezer with ice water because I forgot to chill the water. Then I forgot all about my hard boiled eggs. So I decided to play with the ice sheet and take some pictures.

In the last 18 hours, I have done a lot of crying. I’m so distressed by this situation.

When I did manage to fall asleep I had weird dreams and nightmares. It was a very uncomfortable night. It’s gonna be a difficult day.
While I know many of you feel I shouldn’t have to deal with this, I appreciate the sentiment. I do have to deal with my current situation. It could be ugly because usually when I stand up for myself it turns out ugly. This is the over generalization of why I don’t stand up for myself. Really I have no self esteem and my own thoughts get in the way so I stumble and knock over everything and things get ugly.

I can’t sleep.
My brain won’t stop. It keeps repeating the same things over and over.
I’m so afraid I will have to choose to quit my job.

sillygirl-noonecares:

Depression isn’t a cry for attention.

(via xodance)

themishapsandphotographs:

tillthenwatchout:

Center Stage. So trashy. So terrible. So fun.

I have this massive poster framed in my house. No apologies.

I watched this today. It reeked of misogyny and I realized education helped me spot it. I still felt so protective of it.
And the RED DRESS dance!! OMG! It’s actually a rather easy piece of dancing and I always worshipped it! The fouettés at the end are probably the most difficult thing in that entire Cooper piece…but whateves.

(via xodance)

Here’s What Happened

I received an email with my hours for this week’s and they totaled to 14 hours. I’ve usually been getting about 30-35. 

Then I cried. A lot.

Then I shook. A lot.

Then I called my therapist and left a voice message.

Then I gathered all my things and went to my bedroom because I was in the living room.

Then I cut myself.

Then I purged and there was blood involved.

Then my therapist called me.

Now I’m not sure what the status of my job is at right now because I’m not sure I can make enough money.

Here’s How I Feel:

Stupid. Angry. Sad. Spinning. Pain. Scared. 

Here’s What is Happening Next:

I’m gonna take some anxiety meds. I’m gonna see if sleep ever becomes an option tonight. I’m going to make decisions about my job tomorrow morning, like after 9am.

Que major depressive episode

“I believe humanity was born from conflict. Maybe that’s why, in all of us, lives a dark side. Some of us embrace it, some have no choice. The rest of us fight it. In the end, it’s as natural as the air we breathe. At some point, we’re forced to face the truth: ourselves.”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds (via learning-2love-myself)